Another PSA to the classmate I only talk to for the oppressive stupidity that pours out of his mouth (A follow-up to ‘the word ‘Retarded”)

Me: I think you’re being homophobic. Saying, ‘It’s like it would be really cool to have a gay friend’ kind of makes it sound like you’d be friends with someone based purely off their sexuality. It also comes directly after you suggested you’d like to be friends with a midget. Are you equating sexuality and being a midget?

MANSPLAINER: If someone came out as being gay, and u were their friend u get to know how they feel. Dude. That is why I said it would, be cool to be their friend. U can help them, support them. I already know, a couple of ppl. Sorry. And btw I never mean stuff I say in such a mean way, you think of me as to say that having a gay friend just because they are gay? Thats fucking retarded and that is just not me. Dont get me wrong as to be yelling at you cuz im not, just saying that, I would never mean such a thing. (grammar and spelling verbatim)

Caring about specific people in specific ways does not mean that you “care about the community.”

The problem here is that you can hope that awful things don’t happen to gay people, because you’d like to support them while still actively contributing to the oppression that ostracises them from society. The contributions that you’ve made to society ensure that they’re still treated like some kind of circus attraction. (midgets, really? heights determine your choice of friends?)

This defense is based on the assumption that you can’t possibly hurt someone you love, a theory that would render family counselling utterly obsolete, and would cause musicians and poets a serious inspirational crisis.

In addition, you’ve just said that you’d like to have a gay friend. If you already know, a couple of ppl, why would you LIKE to have a gay friend? You have friends! Support them!

Me, after several high-pitched dinosaur screams: you’re so problematic, forget I said anything.

MANSPLAINER: Me? Me? Seriously? k Everything i say you take it in the opposite manner and yet everyone gets it 

It’s the perfect trap. A woman is asking you to recognize how you are contributing outright to oppression, she is asking you to acknowledge how you are demonstrating disrespect and derision of an entire community. The best possible response? Plug your ears and shout about the mean woman who’s twisting your words, making it sound like things you’d never say.

This is literally the definition of derailing. The conversation is making you uncomfortable, so rather than actually deal with the issues put forth within it, you find a reason to completely ignore it. You don’t even need to use a reason in any way related to the subject at hand, you can just toss out your impressions of the speaker and declare that it invalidates everything they do.

Since the person in question is unlikely to listen to me, here you go, internet.